Thursday, February 14, 2013

Lent Day 2 (Thursday)

Exercise for Day 2:  Cycling -23.5 miles.  Just a loop on the Swamp Rabbit.  It was colder than I expected, and while I enjoyed the ride I was cold throughout.  Nothing really special on the ride, just out on SRT to Traveler's Rest, looped around in TR and back to the car.

Verse of the Day:
John 13:34-35
New International Version (NIV)
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I was pushed well out of my comfort zone today at work.  I had 2 presentations to field personnel during their monthly meetings where I talked about a new product I've been working on via web presentation.  I think they both went pretty well, but it took a lot of out me emotionally to present to a random group like that.  I've been told that you get more comfortable over time, but it's something I'm always uncomfortable with.  The question to me boils down to:  am I uncomfortable because I'm unsure of myself, or unsure of what others think of me?  I had a conversation last week about "sabotaging my success" with a friend over lunch, and there was a lot to digest with it.  I often wonder if I don't force the result that I subconsciously desire so that I can confirm the fears that dwell deep down inside of me.  There's a lot to evaluate in just that last sentence, starting with is there any truth to be had there.  I feel like there's a defense mechanism that doesn't work properly, that deep down I think is trying to save me from hurt but ends up just being the cause of a lot of pain.  

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