Preface: For those that are used to following my cycling exploits, I've started a new blog called Wuschreiten to catalog those events separately. While I'm still posting on this blog, and it will still focus on fitness and personal issues, my write-ups on cycling events and general cycling thoughts are going to be primarly over on the new site. I invite you to check it out!
I was reminded that I need to remember that no matter how giant the Adversary is, the Living God is bigger!
For me, my Adversary has been my own feelings of self worth for much of my life. I've always clung to the critisism of myself, dwelling in the negative. They often feel normal to me, and allow me to strengthen my own feelings of not being of value. Even after losing the weight that I have, and working as hard as I do for the cycling goals that I wouldn't have dreamed possible 2 years ago, I still feel like a whelp, just trying to hang on. While I have confidence in what I'm capable of, I fear the hubris that comes with it. There are a lot of negative issues that I constantly battle with, and pray over, but I truly believe that they stem from a deep down battle with Pride. C.S. Lewis called Pride "the greatest sin".
Now, in the story of David his Adversary is Goliath: A 9' tall Giant of a man, armed with weapons that most people couldn't manage. The entire army of Israel cowered in fear of this massive hulk. David, still under the age of 20, was at the camp to deliver food to his brothers and to the captains of the Army. Upon hearing of the disdain that Goliath, a Philistine that worshiped a lifeless idol, put towards God, offered to face him.
45 Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. 47 Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands.”
I feel like I would have been like Saul, afraid to face the beast because of what I see. David was not afraid, because he didn't see the massive body in front of him, but the gigantic Living God that was behind him, giving him strength and courage. When we realize that no Enemy, no Adversary, no power on this Earth is as big as our GOD, we can do the unimaginable and break free of the bonds that enslave us.
We just need to remember, God is bigger!